On Trusting...

All that I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for 
all I have not seen. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love this quote by Emerson.  It reminds me of another quote I jotted down from Brennan Manning's Ruthless Trust, a book I mentioned reading right before I left for France.  He says: Like faith and hope, trust cannot be self-generated.  What does lie within my power is paying attention to the faithfulness of Jesus.  Like the growth of a budding flower after spending enough time in the sun and rain, trust seems to be the natural response to a heart that recognizes the Lord's greatness and diligently seeks to find His hand in all circumstances.   How influential this thought was in encouraging me--and teaching me exactly how--to trust the Lord with this step into the unknown: going to France!

There's not much I have to say about trusting the Lord because it's a firmly-rooted reality in my life--  not something to which I give a lot of conscious thought, but a part of who I am and how I work.  I learned very quickly this semester that God can be trusted with every detail, always.  Consistently throughout this semester, I willed myself to trust God with everything, big and small: be it my need to adapt to my new living situation or my need for friendships or my need for directional assistance (left or right?).  When I felt homesick, I trusted; when I felt uncomfortable in a situation, I trusted; when I became frustrated or confused, I trusted.  In this way, the Lord became my best friend in an intimate way.  Some days I really had to make an effort to trust and not worry, for sure.  I was vulnerable and helpless at the beginning of this experience (and I would say not much changed); but trusting the Lord was my first fall back-- and my only fall back.  May it always be our only fall back, even when times seem certain and comfortable!

Trusting God is a way I think we can honor Him and demonstrate to Him--and moreover, to ourselves-- that we fear Him and exalt His character and greatness.   I've learned that it's not just that God can be trusted with every detail of our lives-- but that He deserves to be trusted with every detail of our lives.  In fact, as I grew more into 'myself' in Grenoble, I realized that when it came to figuring out my needs or the next step to take, God was absolutely the only one to lean on.  I saw Him taking care of my needs, yes; but in the process, I saw His workings around me as I witnessed an incredibly wise God at work in my friend's lives as well. 

Every step of trust inclined me to take another; it was the compound effect of realizing that God was capable of being trusted with every detail and realizing that God's character was enough to merit my full trust, regardless of circumstances at all.

Recounting my semester to others seems to resemble a hymn to the faithfulness of the Lord more than to a journey I made in independence and autonomy.  And that's exactly the reality of what it was.  O Lord Almighty, blessed is the woman who trusts in You (Psalm 84).

It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.     Psalm 118:8

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26:3-4