humilité...

If there is one thing I am learning lately, over and over again, it is humility.  It's not a surprise; this is a lesson the Lord will always and continually teach me.  It is at the core of who He is and it is at the core of His vision for our lives as sanctified children.  It is essential in our pursuit of Him, essential in our ability to love others as He does.

I am learning humility through my simple and never-ending need to trust the Lord with every little detail as I take risks here....and those risks come daily, it seems.  I am learning humility when I misunderstand, like last night, when a friend and I showed up for a volleyball scrimmage with no clothes because we had thought it was just a meeting.  I am learning humility because I am realizing more and more that I really don't have as much control as I would like over my progress in French, the relationships I'm forming here, or even my personal sanctification in the Lord.  For all these things, God is longing for me to surrender them to Him.

Before I left for this semester, I read a book called Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning.... some of you probably remember me continually using His title to describe my utmost goal as I entered this new chapter: I wanted to ruthlessly trust the Lord.   And in that, I knew--and am now first-hand learning--that humility is required.

Out of his book, a quote I'm reflecting on today:

The heart of humility lies in undivided attention to God, a fascination with His beauty revealed in creation, a contemplative presence to each person who speaks to us, and a "de-selfing" of our plans, projects, ambitions, and soul.  No longer concerned with appearing to be good, we can move freely in the mystery of who we really are, aware of the Sovereignty of God and of our absolute insufficiency and yet moved by a spirit of radical self-acceptance without self-concern.